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Apple Jokes

Posted by Brittany Woolley on 12/3/2016


What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? 
A crab apple 

What type of computer does a horse like to eat? 
A Macintosh 

How do you make an apple turnover? 
Push it down hill 

What kind of apple isn't an apple? 
A pineapple  

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 
Taking a bite and finding half a worm

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? 
Keeps everyone away 

Where do bugs go to watch the big game? 
Apple-Bees 

What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? 
An Appletini 

What did the apple say to the almond? 
You're Nuts! 

Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? 
Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie

Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? 
Because everyone had to go in pears

What lives in apples and is an avid reader? 
A bookworm

What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? 
A bad apple

Dad, do you like baked apples? 
Yes son, why? 
The orchard's on fire. 

What kind of apple has a short temper? 
A crab apple

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? 
Pineapple

What do you call a fruity pop star? 
Katy Peary 

How do you make an apple puff? 
Chase it round the garden  

How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 
3.14159265 

First apple: You look down in the dumps. What's eating you? 
Second apple: Worms, I think. 

  
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